In which Suzanne explains religious cosmetology . . .
Solomon: So you're telling me you put ash on your forehead on purpose?
Suzanne: Yes, it's to repent for my sins.
Solomon: Well start burning trees, because I'm going to need more than a smudge!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Episode 5
In which Suzanne and Solomon celebrate the holy days...
Text:
Solomon: You've got something on your forehead, here let me get that.
Suzanne: Leave it alone. Don't you know what today is? It's Ash Wednesday
Solomon: Oh, they used to have that at this bar I used to go to. Never figured you'd be into that. Still, why is it grey?
Suzanne: I said Ash, with an "H" at the end. It's a religious holiday.
Solomon: Oh, that is totally confusing.
Text:
Solomon: You've got something on your forehead, here let me get that.
Suzanne: Leave it alone. Don't you know what today is? It's Ash Wednesday
Solomon: Oh, they used to have that at this bar I used to go to. Never figured you'd be into that. Still, why is it grey?
Suzanne: I said Ash, with an "H" at the end. It's a religious holiday.
Solomon: Oh, that is totally confusing.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Episode 4
In which Suzanne and Solomon discover they have friends in common...
Text:
Suzanne: Oh no! Mr. Reverend, the preacher, is coming up the driveway.
Solomon: Why is that a bad thing? Your hair looks great!
Suzanne: Look, not all Christians are as open minded as me, would you mind hiding in the closet?
Solomon: Yeah, that's going to happen...... Wait - is that Mr. Reverend? Problem solved.
Suzanne: What do you mean?
Solomon: He's not hiding in the closet either!
Text:
Suzanne: Oh no! Mr. Reverend, the preacher, is coming up the driveway.
Solomon: Why is that a bad thing? Your hair looks great!
Suzanne: Look, not all Christians are as open minded as me, would you mind hiding in the closet?
Solomon: Yeah, that's going to happen...... Wait - is that Mr. Reverend? Problem solved.
Suzanne: What do you mean?
Solomon: He's not hiding in the closet either!
Episode 3
In which Suzanne and Solomon discuss scripture...
Text:
Solomon: I just don't see how the bible is applicable today.
Suzanne: There's lots of really great lessons that can still be learned.
Solomon: Like not wearing polyester? Cause I'm all about the natural fibers.
Suzanne: No! Like the sermon on the mount, "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."
Solomon: Oh yeah, that makes total sense. I mean, you wouldn't want to be all puffy and swollen just on one side. Then you'd be lopsided.
Text:
Solomon: I just don't see how the bible is applicable today.
Suzanne: There's lots of really great lessons that can still be learned.
Solomon: Like not wearing polyester? Cause I'm all about the natural fibers.
Suzanne: No! Like the sermon on the mount, "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."
Solomon: Oh yeah, that makes total sense. I mean, you wouldn't want to be all puffy and swollen just on one side. Then you'd be lopsided.
Episode 2
In which Suzanne and Solomon discover the truth behind the myth...
Text:
Suzanne: I'm really sorry about that, I had no idea that would happen.
Solomon: It's totally fine, how would you? It's not like I'd ever run into that before.
Suzanne: It's totally crazy, I mean, Holy Water burns non-believers? Who knew?
Solomon: On the bright side, it totally got rid of those fine lines around my eyes.
Text:
Suzanne: I'm really sorry about that, I had no idea that would happen.
Solomon: It's totally fine, how would you? It's not like I'd ever run into that before.
Suzanne: It's totally crazy, I mean, Holy Water burns non-believers? Who knew?
Solomon: On the bright side, it totally got rid of those fine lines around my eyes.
Episode 1
In which Suzanne and Solomon come to terms after church.
Text:
Suzanne: That's it! You are never coming to church with us again!
Solomon: What did I do? I was only trying to help.
Suzanne: Help? By ruining the communion wafers and defiling the wine?
Solomon: Oh! I thought that was the brunch set-up. Still, you have to admit, the body of christ tastes better with a shmear!
Text:
Suzanne: That's it! You are never coming to church with us again!
Solomon: What did I do? I was only trying to help.
Suzanne: Help? By ruining the communion wafers and defiling the wine?
Solomon: Oh! I thought that was the brunch set-up. Still, you have to admit, the body of christ tastes better with a shmear!
Welcome
My Favorite Heathen is a parody of the unlikely friendship between Suzanne Mosley and Solomon Singer, a Christian girl and an atheist gay man. Many of the episodes are based on actual conversations these two have had. New episodes will be posted each week. All comments are welcome!
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
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